i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I party with great urgency now.
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