Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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