somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
