Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
