i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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