You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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