Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
