I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
