end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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