in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
