Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
