the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
