he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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