I love black thongs
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
