did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I don't think brook has ever known best
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
