No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
