I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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