Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
