Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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