They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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