I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I am midnight drunk by noon
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
