seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
