im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Watching her eat just hurts me
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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