remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize