I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
He had one of those small greek statue penises
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
