At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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