please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
