put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
no, he came in my armpit
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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