Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
