im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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