So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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