i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
