Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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