College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
