I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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