omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
