Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Sober January is a disaster.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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