I am puke
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
