I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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