i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
