I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
no you cant smoke seaweed
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
