Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
