is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Sext me about skeletons
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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