is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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