If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
