Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
