I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
