we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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