kristin has been a bad kristin
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
