This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
