I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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