Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
