i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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