went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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