i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
