Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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