yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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