on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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