Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
